She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
