He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
