I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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