YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
