Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
