First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize