I smell stomach acid.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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