All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
