The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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