Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
