he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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