For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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