it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just want to make out with him forever
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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