Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
