So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
