is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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