is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Randomize
