mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He felt like a one man threesome
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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