he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
