if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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