please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
