before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
