my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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