We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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