just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
