I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
