So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
