Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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