As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
