Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
