dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
