She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
and eventually we just all took our pants off
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
