im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Boobs are out for the taking
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
