Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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