My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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