singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
