Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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