This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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