Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
