Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
