Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
