My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
