i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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