i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
