is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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