I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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