On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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