Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
