so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
