is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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