in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
