No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize