What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
