i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
