Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
me + whiskey = a bad person
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
