the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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