Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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