I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
