so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
