anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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