I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
