when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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