Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize