Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
