new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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