hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
